The Customs of Tibetan Wedding Gifts
Tibet is a country that is not only far from our own, but with different sets of customs and religious practices in place. Though some events are similar, the customs surrounding them will seem strange to persons that are not from the country, and as with all nations, are shaped by history and the culture of the people who live within it.
In Tibet, the practices of marriage are shaped by rules of the past, in which marriage between people of different social and economic status was forbidden. Some of the customs of giving Tibetan wedding gifts display the affects of these customs, though the strictest rules about marriage were abolished in the 1950s.
An Economic Display
The practices of Tibetan wedding gifts follows a set system of various useful presents and dowries that seem to indicate a show of economic competence, since a parent would not want to marry their child to someone who is not economically sound. The flow of Tibetan wedding gifts begins with the marriage proposal, where the family making the proposal visits the family to whom they intend to marry their child. The gifts are largely symbolic, which includes clothing, cloth for clothing, bags of grains, meat, wine, and a strip of raw silk or linen called a hada. The color of the hada is often white to symbolize purity and good luck.
Just as in America, where the brides family traditionally is responsible for the bill for the wedding, in Tibet, there are rules about who pays for what. In the case of the proposing party, the family making the proposal will pay for the party. As a tradeoff, though, after the party it is customary for the proposing family to be given their own gifts and hadas, a reversal of the flow of Tibetan wedding gifts.
The Wedding Day
The flow of Tibetan wedding gifts continues until after the wedding day. On the day of the wedding, the family marrying off their child gives a dowry, which represents a contribution to the expenses of the household where the couple will live. The range on these Tibetan wedding gifts depends on economic status, and can include things as fine as jewels or as simple as clothes. As a nod to modern convenience and sharing similarities with American practices, home appliances have joined the types of Tibetan wedding gifts that can be given.
Of course, wedding guests will often bring gifts, often useful things for the new household, such as food, wine, money, and clothes. In this, we can see that although some of the rules for giving Tibetan wedding gifts, particularly in the proposal gift-giving and the dowry, differ from American standards, in the end, the reason for the gifts as well as even some of the types of gifts are the same. So though the particulars are often different and sometimes a little strange, wedding gifts, whether Tibetan or otherwise, have the same purpose, to celebrate the new couple and help them in their new life together. |